It's now first anniversary of Alex's passing. This past year has been a real journey. Alex is still here, still a part of me and quietly encouraging me not to be sad and appreciate all the good things I have. He is such a thoughtful person. Having kept all his letters and emails for the first time I can read them not with sadness but with joy because what we had was so very special. I feel more able to function now and perform everyday tasks without the lack of motivation that has dogged me over the past year. The nights are still lonely but more bearable and friends have been a godsend. I've learned a lot though the lessons have been harsh and now feel ready to begin a new chapter and start living again When my time comes I will know how to die with dignity thanks to my wonderful Alex who taught me so much. Here's to you my beautiful sweetheart, you're the best thing to have ever happened to me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Rod x